As a young boy, I eagerly looked forward to the moment when I would start to be referred to as a man. With that funny idea that any member of the male folk could be regarded as a man at a certain age, I would frown at anyone who called me a boy when I was in my early twenties. How naïve I was.
These days, most young members of the male folk seem to want to grow up quickly and be called men with little or no idea of what it entails to be one.
Being a man goes far beyond growing physically, having that husky voice or that typical male musculature. It isn’t about ceasing to sag your pants below the decency level or stop being a ‘party rocker’. It isn’t dressing like one with an office job or being smooth with the ladies that makes you a man.
I might not have the perfect definition of who a man is or completely regard myself as one but I can tell who a man is when I see one. Ladies have their individual selfish definition of a man, as long as he fills their appetite.
He does not have to be perfect and you probably will never find any perfect one but there are certain requirements he would meet. Let me introduce you to my model – the man.
He has grown and he is no longer tied to his mother’s apron strings and he doesn’t answer to his father anymore. He calls the shots in his life, makes his decisions, mistakes and suffers the consequences, but learns his lessons. He wouldn’t mind a little help from his parents, if available. However, he is independent of anyone, learning to take the bull by the horn.
His choice of dressing doesn’t have to speak volumes of wealth but commands respect. He dresses well because he wants to be well addressed. He tries to keep an appearance that can be regarded as responsible. He is always neat and smart looking; if he doesn’t wear a Cologne, he never smells bad. He maintains a neat environment. He keeps everything around him tidy; he is never comfortable having dirty plates in his kitchen sink or having cobwebs hanging from his ceiling.
Whether he is properly educated or not, he has a chosen career and he works hard at it. He recognises his potentials and uses them well for his gain. He puts his best into everything he does and he’s never too lazy to ensure he gets everything right. He knows how to stick to his gun until he gets what he wants, he never gives up. Most importantly, he always has his hands on something worthwhile.
With the ladies, he is sincere. When he is in a relationship, he treats his lady well. He wouldn’t start a relationship he doesn’t plan to keep and he wouldn’t lie to a girl just to get a pass through her panties. He would normally make his intentions known. He could be suave, soft spoken and have the best of ladies around him, yet he maintains a decent sex life and he is never a victim of unwanted pregnancy. He knows the place of ladies in his life and puts them there.
When he eventually decides to marry and be committed to that one special woman who he believes fits into his dreams and can always support him, he’s the ultimate man. He puts his family first; and as the children start to show up, he tries to lay down good examples for them. He works continually hard to give them better lives than he had. He keeps his fears and weakness to himself and deals with them well. To his family, he is their ‘superman’, ‘super-husband’ and ‘super-dad’.
He has a sense of spirituality. He submits to a higher power, he believes in God or whatever he chooses to believe in.
He knows how to manage his vices. If he has anger problem, he gets better at manging it with each passing day. If he loves to drink, he holds his liquor well and never embarrasses himself in public. If he smoke, he never constitutes a nuisance to other people. If he is flirtatious, he puts that under proper control. He is good at checking his excesses.
He is guided by principles that always work for him. He doesn’t live other people’s lives. He is a man of his words because he knows that a man is as good as his words, and he is never persuaded to act against his will or beliefs. He knows the place of friends and handles every other relationships well. He maintains a high moral standard and keeps only healthy habits and relationship.
He has an identity; he is known for who he is and everyone who knows him would say the same thing about him. He lives for something and he is serious at everything he does.
Now, that’s my man! I probably haven’t said everything, this is a summary. Being a man isn’t age dependent and you can’t be that man in one day. You have to choose to be, and work at it.
